Every family has their problems and everyone has different ways to deal with it. There is a difference between healthy disagreements to abusive behavior. Strong toktok hemi oraet nomo but domestik vaelens hemi ol fasin blong givim kil mo talem ol nogud toktok ensaet long wan hom, afta yu harem se yu no sef mo fraet bigwan.
The statistics in Vanuatu are scary – more than half of Ni-Vanuatu women have experienced domestic violence. It could be their intimate partner, father, brother or uncle. Studies show that it’s mostly men who are the offenders. Domestic violence is not just physical – it can be emotional, sexual and financial. Sapos we wan man imekem fasin ia, hemi wan kraem from hemi brekem loa blong Family Protection Act No. 28 of 2008.
Ol man we istap mekem vaelens long ol woman hemi oli kat defren job olsem wan gudfala man long komiuniti or wan bus driver or hemi no wok, mo hemi kam from defren aelen, jios, oli yangfala mo olfala – hemi no isi blong save who ia wan ofenda. Tingting blong ol man we hemi mekem rabis fasin ia, klosap everi wan hemi talem se hemi no risponsibil. Hemi talem se woman hemi faetem hem or woman nao hemi mekem se vaelens ikamaot wetem toktok or fasin blong hem.
Domestic violence happens in many forms and can result in physical injuries, psychological trauma and sometimes sadly, death. It is a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one person unto another and the consequences can last a lifetime. The behavior can affect and be passed onto future generations – it is a dangerous epidemic. If you or anyone you know is experiencing any of these forms of domestic violence, you can seek help at the Vanuatu Women’s Center.
What is domestic violence?
Physical
- Hitting, punching, slapping, kicking or biting
- Twisting fingers and/or arms
- Pushing the woman to fall down
- Forcing her into a room or a car
- Pulling hair
- Holdem nek blong woman taet
- Throwing things such as a stone, coconut or wood
- Burning the woman using hot water, cigarette, kerosene or fire
- Using different items to attack including iron, chain, bottle, knife, chair, etc.
Emotional
- Making actions such as breaking things in the house to make everyone in the house feel scared
- Destroying the victim’s belongings
- Making threats or talem strong tok tok blong makem woman mo pikinini fraet
- Not giving food, money or any other necessary items
- Controlling how the victim dresses, wears makeup, wears their hair, etc.
- Talem ol no gud toktok olsem swea toktok
- Withholding access to internet, phone, transportation and money
- Stalking
- Always checking up or following the woman wherever she goes
- Forced imprisonment
- Preventing the victim from working or going to school
- Isolating the woman from friends and family
- Blackmailing and playing mind games including the silent treatment and manipulation
- Making unfound accusations (olsem yu stap wetem wan nara man, etc)
- Pressuring the victim to take alcohol, drugs or kava
Sexual
- Repem narawan taem hemi no wandem
- Hemi no usem protection or sakem birth control
- Pressuring the victim to perform sexual acts they are not comfortable with
- Forcing sex with others
Financial
- Controlling all the finances
- Taking or withholding money to encourage financial dependence
- Asking the victim how they spend their money in an unreasonable matter
- Giving money to another women or spending it on kava or other intoxicants instead of kai kai for the family
Sapos yu or wan fren or famili blong yu hemi needem help, go luk Vanuatu Women’s Center. Check out their Facebook page or ring them on 25764.